This week our Little Matheny had surgery to correct a procedure done in Africa. In the medical world, it was not a huge deal but in mommy world any event preceded by meeting an anesthesiologist is a huge deal. Why should this little boy have any more pain? How can God allow bad things happen to innocent babies? While I was in awe of the ease in which we were able to get in to see this specialist in a bright and clean and friendly facility, why is this level of medical care completely unattainable to most of the world's hurting children?
My friend Cami helped me see that this was not cause for questioning God, but for waiting in anticipation for Him to show up in big ways. I want to document here the ways in which we saw God "show up":
-Wednesday night we asked our church family to pray for Little Matheny, specifically for the pre-surgery fasting. The way it was scheduled, he'd have to miss two meals, which could have horrible implications for a child with a history of malnourishment. Thursday the hospital called....there had been a cancellation and Little Matheny was bumped up to the BEST POSSIBLE SURGERY TIME of 9:15 am. The fasting was not an issue at all. Prayers answered!
-Conversations with doctors which both smashed our hearts and lifted our spirits
-Giving me a chance to come face to face with the differences between the God I want and the God who is
-The staff at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital was awesome. They listened to all of our concerns and had Little Matheny's best interests in mind at every turn. He went to sleep with his headphones on and woke up with his headphones on and never knew he'd been apart from us.
-Conversation with the nurse in recovery:
Nurse to us: "How many kids do you guys have?"
Us: "Three."
Nurse: "How many are you going to have?"
Us: Shrug.
Nurse: "I think you need like ten or maybe a whole orphanage."
Not kidding. She actually said that.
-This long one was heart knowledge, so I'm not sure I can communicate it effectively, but I want to try. I got to understand the love of the Father by watching Philip love our Little Matheny through a rough day. I know now what happens to a helpless orphan baby, I know what happens to a cherished son, and I know the difference it makes for us who are in Christ.
Because of the authority given to parents, every poke and prod Little Matheny received yesterday in preparation for and in the recovery of surgery was first cleared with Philip by the medical staff. Each time something needed to be done, Philip would bend down and whisper into Little Matheny's headphones what was happening. When he didn't like it Little Matheny would shake his head and say, "No thank you. All done, please, all done." He didn't throw any fits but remained amazingly sweet because his daddy said it was okay and he loves his daddy. At any moment, Philip was ready to say, "No. This one is MINE and you are NOT doing THAT to him." The slightest thing that wasn't in Little Matheny's best interest would have been quickly rejected. At the same time, this very protective father was okay with letting him go through some uncomfortable stuff because this brief pain would bring necessary healing. As I watched Philip go through this process of approving what needed to be done for Little Matheny and then gently guiding him through it, I saw God.
My heart knew that this hard experience was not because our Father had abandoned us and we are helplessly suffering in this world like orphans, but that He is gently guiding us through the trials that have already been cleared in His divine wisdom for the greater good. "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." - 2 Corinthians 4:17
I just knew in my heart that if at any point the enemy seeks to attack me beyond that which prepares me for Glory, our Father will not hesitate to say, "No. This one is MINE and you are NOT doing THAT to her." What a peaceful image in the midst of a painful day: the hard stuff has passed through His hands before reaching mine and He guides us through those days because we are HIS.
Because of the authority given to parents, every poke and prod Little Matheny received yesterday in preparation for and in the recovery of surgery was first cleared with Philip by the medical staff. Each time something needed to be done, Philip would bend down and whisper into Little Matheny's headphones what was happening. When he didn't like it Little Matheny would shake his head and say, "No thank you. All done, please, all done." He didn't throw any fits but remained amazingly sweet because his daddy said it was okay and he loves his daddy. At any moment, Philip was ready to say, "No. This one is MINE and you are NOT doing THAT to him." The slightest thing that wasn't in Little Matheny's best interest would have been quickly rejected. At the same time, this very protective father was okay with letting him go through some uncomfortable stuff because this brief pain would bring necessary healing. As I watched Philip go through this process of approving what needed to be done for Little Matheny and then gently guiding him through it, I saw God.
My heart knew that this hard experience was not because our Father had abandoned us and we are helplessly suffering in this world like orphans, but that He is gently guiding us through the trials that have already been cleared in His divine wisdom for the greater good. "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." - 2 Corinthians 4:17
I just knew in my heart that if at any point the enemy seeks to attack me beyond that which prepares me for Glory, our Father will not hesitate to say, "No. This one is MINE and you are NOT doing THAT to her." What a peaceful image in the midst of a painful day: the hard stuff has passed through His hands before reaching mine and He guides us through those days because we are HIS.
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
1 John 3:1
-Best of all, Little Matheny is recovering better than anyone expected! Thank the Lord! All he remembers is he went to the hospital and took a nap. :)
"It may not be the way I would have chosen
when you lead me through a world that's not my home.
But you never said it would be easy,
You only said I'd never go alone."
-Ginny Owens, "If You Want Me To"
2 comments:
I'm so glad everything went well for your little guy! I had never considered what the fasting & separation of surgery would do to a child who's experienced malnutrition and is working on attachment. This was very eye-opening.
I wanted to say thanks for the last section of your post. My husband has been having a really difficult time at work recently. He's been working tons of over-time, is exhausted, and is very frustrated. We've prayed for deliverance, for perseverance, and even for the ability to embrace his trials. It's so good to be reminded that God is gently leading us through the tough times. I had him read what you wrote, and he really appreciated it!
Philip Rocks for Jesus! Happy Day! Loving and missing you down here ;-)
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