No Means _____

"No means no!" If you have young children, you probably find yourself saying this. It's an important lesson for little ones. No as an adult, though, I'm learning another significant lesson about "no".......Sometimes, no means yes.

A few months ago, Philip and I re-evaluated our priorities and how our lives reflected those priorities. Though close to our hearts, spending time with our grandmothers, for example, seemed to be getting lost in our schedule. You know how it goes, lots of really good or seemingly urgent activities crowding out the more important options.

The change we had to make was a challenging one. We had to start saying no. To resist the urge to do it all (and instead be content to add depth to the little that we do.) We had to learn that every opportunity presented by a Christian friend is not inherently a request by God himself. To aid in our discernment, we sought God's guidance in developing a family mission statement.

As we journey Home, the Matheny family lives to....

....be Challenged

*by loving and glorifying God with reliance on the power of His Spirit

*by pursuing a love of learning

*by reaching out in ministry as a family

.....be Nurtured

*by loving each other as Christ has loved us

*by creating a healthy home

*by making memories together as our family grows

This is where we are now. It'll change. Those alluring opportunities that don't fit now may have a place later.

The unseen part of the equation, though, is that saying no to just a couple big requests outside of our mission frees up time and mental peace to say yes to many little joyfilling choices. Since this paradigm shift began, I've said yes to being excited about teaching Sunday school rather than just throwing it together, yes to asking a friend how she's doing and really listening, yes to correcting the seemingly small attitude problems in my children. Yes to doing some of the same activities more intentionally. And yes to afternoons and evenings with our grandmothers, which I've come to see God put on our hearts at least as much for our benefit as for theirs.

So, we'll keep saying yes, we'll keep saying no, but more importantly: sometimes when we say no we'll see it as "no means yes" to questions that will never be asked.